


how old is your mom?

by maiselocked



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gen, Good Narcissa Black Malfoy, Humor, Reader-Insert, Short, based on a tiktok, milf nation, this is literally just crack i had this idea and couldn't get rid of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28082148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiselocked/pseuds/maiselocked
Summary: in which draco's friends can't help but fall for narcissa.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Reader, Draco Malfoy/Reader, Narcissa Black Malfoy & Reader, Narcissa Black Malfoy/Reader
Kudos: 62





	how old is your mom?

**Author's Note:**

> i saw this on a tiktok and thought it was hilarious. it literally wouldn't get out of my head so i had to write it. enjoy this short piece of shitty crack <3

Draco laid on his bed, the black sheets and blankets providing him with some shelter from the chill of Malfoy Manor. His fingers were absentmindedly twirling his wand as some sort of effort to distract himself from whatever was happening downstairs. 

The echoes of laughs and conversation floated into his ears and he huffed. He was supposed to be hanging out with his friend. It was the summer before their seventh year and before they were sent off to be adults in the wizarding world, he wanted some peace and fun memories to replace the not so amazing ones from the past few years. But no. Nothing ever went his way did it? 

Narcissa Malfoy was a charming, attractive woman. She was a caring mother despite her roots in the dark arts. She was very hospitable and people felt drawn to her. It was no surprise that the minute Draco apparated outside of his house with Y/N in tow that they’d strike up a most fascinating conversation with his mother. 

He just didn’t know how _long_ it would be. 

He twirled his wand a few more times before the sound of footsteps coming towards his room drew his attention. His door flew open and his friend stood, blushing and breathless. 

“Draco, how old is your mom?” They asked in such a rush that Draco almost didn’t understand them. “Well?” 

Draco stared and his mouth flew open. First Crabbe and Goyle, then Blaise, and now them? “Y/N, no.” 

“It’s not like that! I’m just…,” they paused, trying to find some way to explain that sounded better than their real reason for asking. “Curious.” 

Draco shook his head and muttered curse words under his breath. He got up from the bed and slammed the door close. “Why do so many people want to fuck my mother for Merlin’s sake?”

“I don’t want to fuck your mother!” Y/N cried out, maybe a little too loud. “But on a similar note, her and Lucius. Are they...exclusive? I mean, Lucius isn’t awful…” 

“Shut up!” Draco yelled. “My parents are very happily married. And you’re 18.” 

Y/N huffed but a smile replaced their frustrated expression. “I’m messing with you Draco.” Draco rolled his eyes but chuckled nonetheless.

The door to Draco’s room opened once more and Narcissa stood with a kind expression. “Would you both like to eat?”

“Eat what?” 

“Y/N!”


End file.
